While I am not old enough to have experienced the same kind of pain, I will say that the first half of the year was rough— and it was your book that helped me get through the final days of it.
I entered January of 2025 fairly hopeful, because in my mind, while the latter half of the previous year was rough, it could only get better. I’d been dismissing my odd aversion to celebrating Christmas to my creative and mental burnout following a rough first semester and a long time with little creative projects under my belt. I’d recently gone back into therapy for old trauma and I wasn’t suicidal, so I’d dismissed any thought of depression from my mind. Either way, spring was coming, I had a new book I was excited about, and things could get better—- right?
Except they didn’t 😅 I blazed through the new novel and that became my raft for a bit as I processed things through a traumatized MC so tired of fighting and carrying on, and when the second semester got harder I dug into the story more and found a refuge in a whacky world of snarky cinnamon roll superheroes. All the while still ignoring the fact that my mental health was getting worse, and in the dark of night intrusive voices whispered in my ears.
April came. Spring, finally, and I was working on an unexpected sequel to the book… and finally it all crashed. I was behind in schoolwork, I was forcing my story to be something it wasn’t (and totally burning myself out in the process), and worst of all, my bedroom, my personal safe space, had toxic mold, something I hadn’t faced since my childhood when it forced my family to gut out half our old house and several precious toys and books to be lost to chaos.
And that is when I had to admit that there was a problem. Because the intrusive voices got too loud, my writing was in shambles, and I’d read my Bible and go to bed sobbing every night asking God why I wanted to die so badly. Every small failure felt so insurmountable that I regressed to behaviors I hadn’t done for almost five years. I knew it was only a season and yet the weight of everything was so crushing that it felt so hard to work to find joy. A good day became a day where I didn’t want to die and that felt so depressing in itself that I would just spiral.
In all of this, as I changed my supplements and slowly eased myself away from those thoughts, there was also the pressing issue that I had a birthday coming up, paired with an age that for no reason absolutely scared me to death. One of those moments where you know it won’t feel any different, but it symbolizes the amount of pain you’ve gone through since then and I remember sobbing the night before wondering why I was scared of an age.
Well, that morning of the birthday , I had to be holed away while my family decorated. I was already up early, so I had snuck downstairs and stole my sister’s copy of Coral, since it had been about two years since I read it and I wanted a refresher.
I cried over that book. I was wonderfully lost in the world and it felt like such a balm to my still raw and healing soul. The first time I read it, it helped me understand some of what one of my sisters had gone through in the past— and now it was a comfort to me, a distraction from my anxiety over my birthday and whether the next half of the year would be as awful as the first.
I finished the book in two hours XD
And after that day, even though I still had some rough moments… I felt okay.
And now I’m happy to say that the past three months have been MUCH better, I’m back on track with my writing and I haven’t heard my dark intrusive voices for months. I know there might be seasons of darkness ahead , and I can’t deny that going into winter has made me worried about regressing. But God has gotten me this far and He is good.
Thank you for writing stories that are real about the things that are hardest to say and explain. Coral gave me a spark of happily ever after when life kept telling me I’d just have tragedy. And I’m praying for ya 😉
Allie Lynn, I am so humbled and touched by your vulnerable comment. So much of what you wrote resonated with me and experiences I’ve had. My heart is broken for all you have faced and endured. Clinging to your faith through it all I know was hard, but you persevered and God remained with you even when He may have seemed distant.
All praise and glory for any of my books goes to God. Coral was the book that made me almost quit writing for good. I did not want to write it. It was not the book I pitched to my publisher, nor the book I planned to write. It is my worst selling book. But it is also the book I get the most messages about. And that is by God’s grace alone.
I am blessed to know that story has been of some comfort to you. I pray that the remainder of your 2025 is filled with more joy and than heartache, and even if it’s not that you will hold fast to the loving Father who works all things for good for those He calls. ❤️ Keep writing and clinging to Him.
The irony of that is that Coral is my favorite. I’ve read the Wonderland Trials, tried to get into the trilogy (haven’t been in a portal fantasy mood shrug) but Coral is just… it’s the best. I love Merrick and Coral XP
Sara, thank you for sharing your heart in this beautiful, vulnerable post. Praying that we would all let God's light shine through us in the darkness. Keeping you in my prayers. ❤️
I am so, so sorry for your loss. It seems to have been a year and a half filled with so much death, from my observation in so many spaces, and I pray God not only continues to shine through the darkness (as He is faithful to do!) but also turns it around and encourages His people with more new *life* in the coming year.
I am praying the same. Thank you for your kind words. God is good. And He is doing something. We just have to trust Him even when we can’t see what that something is right now. ❤️
Dearest Sara, thank you for sharing your heart. I love what we have taken from this season of life. Finding light in the darkness. I think it’s totally okay to not rush to social media or Substack or a blog the second something happens to us. I think it’s healthy to process behind the scenes. My husband and I have been in a hard season for over two years and I’ve talked about it some, but I’ve also decided to keep parts of it private. Or private for certain seasons. Even now, I feel like I’m more of a refining season with God. It’s not easy but God will lead me out when it is time. Thank you for sharing the things on your heart and for shouting light into the darkness! I’m right there with you, trying to show people the light. ❤️
Thank you, Shelbie Mae. I agree we all have to take time and process and grieve privately. And there’s no timeline on grief. And maybe we never even share those parts of our lives. I wasn’t sure if I would ever share about this. I didn’t want it to seem like I was using my grief for “content.” But the timing felt right, and I only hope my story can comfort others who are grieving too.
I’m so sorry you’ve had such a hard and prolonged season. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. You are a light and a joy to connect with, and I hope you know what a blessing your words are as well.
I will start by saying that I have very much respected you and your writing for a long time now, and this if anything only adds to that respect. It is one kind of bravery to write a novel, I think. It is an entirely different kind of bravery to write something like this, and I deeply respect your vulnerability as well. It is easy to do things when everything is going well, but it is what you do when nothing is going right that truly matters, I think. The fact that you could keep going and keep writing despite it all is very encouraging. Despite the hardships we go through, there is still light and we can keep going, even when it's hard.
And I would like you to know that your books have reached a lot of people, a lot of young people especially, and that your writing has brought comfort and joy to them, and that is such a precious and beautiful thing. When life gets hard it is so important to have such fiction to get you through, and the fact that you have provided that for people is so very important. The world needs more books like you create.
Thank you for everything you do. Hoping things are looking up for you and wishing you healing and comfort and small joys in the future. 💛
Dear Journey, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. (I love your name, by the way.)
I’m so blessed to know my books have blessed you and others. I know from personal experience we all need fiction to escape to, to help us process or make us feel seen. And I’m seeing more and more authors shedding that light into their books that we all need. The more light we spread, the less darkness has a chance to win.
God is good all the time. Stand firm. Aslan is on the move. ❤️
Ah, Sara! These "various trials" can cut so deeply, and in ways that leave us without words, or without the desire or strength to speak. Thank you for sharing your candle with us, sharing the light that continues to burn despite the losses and sorrow of this year. Thank you for your faithfulness to finishing your stories, those treasures and gifts that God has entrusted to you to share with the world.
Praying that the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit will bring joy unspeakable in the midst of sorrow, and that you will be strengthened in ways that make you a refuge for others and a solid pillar for your family to lean on for the rest of your days in this life. May God unlock a flood of words in His good time, a river of rushing waters that the thirsty come to drink from and be filled with new life and hope.
Oh, Sara, I cannot even imagine the grief of losing your precious babies. 💔 Sometimes, the grief in life is so intense and overwhelming that it feels impossible to bear. I am grateful that God walks right beside us to carry the burden. What a blessing that you will one day be reunited with your little angels! I'm so grateful that we have that hope in Christ...I cannot imagine living without Him.
I admire your courage as you continued to draft Glass Across the Sea! It's so hard to be creative through times of grief, but you persevered. I think that GAtS is your best, most hope-filled story yet! It truly touched my heart. 💕 God is using you to add more light to this dark world! Thank you.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Sienna. God is good. Very often writing is an act of obedience to the Lord. And that just means all glory for any of my writing that reaches anyone’s heart goes to Him.
While I am not old enough to have experienced the same kind of pain, I will say that the first half of the year was rough— and it was your book that helped me get through the final days of it.
I entered January of 2025 fairly hopeful, because in my mind, while the latter half of the previous year was rough, it could only get better. I’d been dismissing my odd aversion to celebrating Christmas to my creative and mental burnout following a rough first semester and a long time with little creative projects under my belt. I’d recently gone back into therapy for old trauma and I wasn’t suicidal, so I’d dismissed any thought of depression from my mind. Either way, spring was coming, I had a new book I was excited about, and things could get better—- right?
Except they didn’t 😅 I blazed through the new novel and that became my raft for a bit as I processed things through a traumatized MC so tired of fighting and carrying on, and when the second semester got harder I dug into the story more and found a refuge in a whacky world of snarky cinnamon roll superheroes. All the while still ignoring the fact that my mental health was getting worse, and in the dark of night intrusive voices whispered in my ears.
April came. Spring, finally, and I was working on an unexpected sequel to the book… and finally it all crashed. I was behind in schoolwork, I was forcing my story to be something it wasn’t (and totally burning myself out in the process), and worst of all, my bedroom, my personal safe space, had toxic mold, something I hadn’t faced since my childhood when it forced my family to gut out half our old house and several precious toys and books to be lost to chaos.
And that is when I had to admit that there was a problem. Because the intrusive voices got too loud, my writing was in shambles, and I’d read my Bible and go to bed sobbing every night asking God why I wanted to die so badly. Every small failure felt so insurmountable that I regressed to behaviors I hadn’t done for almost five years. I knew it was only a season and yet the weight of everything was so crushing that it felt so hard to work to find joy. A good day became a day where I didn’t want to die and that felt so depressing in itself that I would just spiral.
In all of this, as I changed my supplements and slowly eased myself away from those thoughts, there was also the pressing issue that I had a birthday coming up, paired with an age that for no reason absolutely scared me to death. One of those moments where you know it won’t feel any different, but it symbolizes the amount of pain you’ve gone through since then and I remember sobbing the night before wondering why I was scared of an age.
Well, that morning of the birthday , I had to be holed away while my family decorated. I was already up early, so I had snuck downstairs and stole my sister’s copy of Coral, since it had been about two years since I read it and I wanted a refresher.
I cried over that book. I was wonderfully lost in the world and it felt like such a balm to my still raw and healing soul. The first time I read it, it helped me understand some of what one of my sisters had gone through in the past— and now it was a comfort to me, a distraction from my anxiety over my birthday and whether the next half of the year would be as awful as the first.
I finished the book in two hours XD
And after that day, even though I still had some rough moments… I felt okay.
And now I’m happy to say that the past three months have been MUCH better, I’m back on track with my writing and I haven’t heard my dark intrusive voices for months. I know there might be seasons of darkness ahead , and I can’t deny that going into winter has made me worried about regressing. But God has gotten me this far and He is good.
Thank you for writing stories that are real about the things that are hardest to say and explain. Coral gave me a spark of happily ever after when life kept telling me I’d just have tragedy. And I’m praying for ya 😉
💜
Allie Lynn, I am so humbled and touched by your vulnerable comment. So much of what you wrote resonated with me and experiences I’ve had. My heart is broken for all you have faced and endured. Clinging to your faith through it all I know was hard, but you persevered and God remained with you even when He may have seemed distant.
All praise and glory for any of my books goes to God. Coral was the book that made me almost quit writing for good. I did not want to write it. It was not the book I pitched to my publisher, nor the book I planned to write. It is my worst selling book. But it is also the book I get the most messages about. And that is by God’s grace alone.
I am blessed to know that story has been of some comfort to you. I pray that the remainder of your 2025 is filled with more joy and than heartache, and even if it’s not that you will hold fast to the loving Father who works all things for good for those He calls. ❤️ Keep writing and clinging to Him.
The irony of that is that Coral is my favorite. I’ve read the Wonderland Trials, tried to get into the trilogy (haven’t been in a portal fantasy mood shrug) but Coral is just… it’s the best. I love Merrick and Coral XP
That means the world to me. Merrick is my favorite. <3
We also own goats named Maddie Hatter, Chess Shire, and Alice ^-^
This is amazing! I need pictures!
Hold on I have to make a separate Substack notes post Xp
Sara, thank you for sharing your heart in this beautiful, vulnerable post. Praying that we would all let God's light shine through us in the darkness. Keeping you in my prayers. ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Hannah. God is good and gracious, and all glory goes to Him. Your prayers are a blessing and comfort.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. It seems to have been a year and a half filled with so much death, from my observation in so many spaces, and I pray God not only continues to shine through the darkness (as He is faithful to do!) but also turns it around and encourages His people with more new *life* in the coming year.
I am praying the same. Thank you for your kind words. God is good. And He is doing something. We just have to trust Him even when we can’t see what that something is right now. ❤️
Dearest Sara, thank you for sharing your heart. I love what we have taken from this season of life. Finding light in the darkness. I think it’s totally okay to not rush to social media or Substack or a blog the second something happens to us. I think it’s healthy to process behind the scenes. My husband and I have been in a hard season for over two years and I’ve talked about it some, but I’ve also decided to keep parts of it private. Or private for certain seasons. Even now, I feel like I’m more of a refining season with God. It’s not easy but God will lead me out when it is time. Thank you for sharing the things on your heart and for shouting light into the darkness! I’m right there with you, trying to show people the light. ❤️
Thank you, Shelbie Mae. I agree we all have to take time and process and grieve privately. And there’s no timeline on grief. And maybe we never even share those parts of our lives. I wasn’t sure if I would ever share about this. I didn’t want it to seem like I was using my grief for “content.” But the timing felt right, and I only hope my story can comfort others who are grieving too.
I’m so sorry you’ve had such a hard and prolonged season. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. You are a light and a joy to connect with, and I hope you know what a blessing your words are as well.
Thank you, Sara. I’d accept that hug. Gladly. I’m looking forward to reading more of your words. And also your new book. I preordered it. ❤️
I will start by saying that I have very much respected you and your writing for a long time now, and this if anything only adds to that respect. It is one kind of bravery to write a novel, I think. It is an entirely different kind of bravery to write something like this, and I deeply respect your vulnerability as well. It is easy to do things when everything is going well, but it is what you do when nothing is going right that truly matters, I think. The fact that you could keep going and keep writing despite it all is very encouraging. Despite the hardships we go through, there is still light and we can keep going, even when it's hard.
And I would like you to know that your books have reached a lot of people, a lot of young people especially, and that your writing has brought comfort and joy to them, and that is such a precious and beautiful thing. When life gets hard it is so important to have such fiction to get you through, and the fact that you have provided that for people is so very important. The world needs more books like you create.
Thank you for everything you do. Hoping things are looking up for you and wishing you healing and comfort and small joys in the future. 💛
-Journey
Dear Journey, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. (I love your name, by the way.)
I’m so blessed to know my books have blessed you and others. I know from personal experience we all need fiction to escape to, to help us process or make us feel seen. And I’m seeing more and more authors shedding that light into their books that we all need. The more light we spread, the less darkness has a chance to win.
God is good all the time. Stand firm. Aslan is on the move. ❤️
Ah, Sara! These "various trials" can cut so deeply, and in ways that leave us without words, or without the desire or strength to speak. Thank you for sharing your candle with us, sharing the light that continues to burn despite the losses and sorrow of this year. Thank you for your faithfulness to finishing your stories, those treasures and gifts that God has entrusted to you to share with the world.
Praying that the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit will bring joy unspeakable in the midst of sorrow, and that you will be strengthened in ways that make you a refuge for others and a solid pillar for your family to lean on for the rest of your days in this life. May God unlock a flood of words in His good time, a river of rushing waters that the thirsty come to drink from and be filled with new life and hope.
Teddi, thank you for taking time to read and comment. Your words and prayers are a balm to my soul today. All glory goes to God. He is good.
Oh, Sara, I cannot even imagine the grief of losing your precious babies. 💔 Sometimes, the grief in life is so intense and overwhelming that it feels impossible to bear. I am grateful that God walks right beside us to carry the burden. What a blessing that you will one day be reunited with your little angels! I'm so grateful that we have that hope in Christ...I cannot imagine living without Him.
I admire your courage as you continued to draft Glass Across the Sea! It's so hard to be creative through times of grief, but you persevered. I think that GAtS is your best, most hope-filled story yet! It truly touched my heart. 💕 God is using you to add more light to this dark world! Thank you.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Sienna. God is good. Very often writing is an act of obedience to the Lord. And that just means all glory for any of my writing that reaches anyone’s heart goes to Him.